226--So Little Time

Spent the day in Newport yesterday. Oregon Coast is so beautiful!

Last night I was a bouncer! Hahahaha....No, really! Katie is one of the owners of the Wildwood Hotel and Bar in Willamina, and last night they had live music. White Buffalo and Joe Firstman touring together, a couple of guitar song-men, brought the community out last night in this charming little town. There were over a hundred folks there to see them, and in my opinion, they particularly rocked.

So Katie thought I might be a good person to greet guests at the door and check their ID's and collect the $5 cover charge. I had an absolute blast. I also had a rather imposing sidekick.

General's not a small guy, or even medium. Big dude, all muscle. We sat on barstools on either side of the entrance and basically got to meet some of the coolest people anywhere. I don't have many muscles to speak of, so I was joking with him that he's the bruiser and I'm the schmoozer.

Today Chris brought a powerful sermon on the art of confrontation, and he did a most artful job challenging us to confront lovingly for the benefit of the relationship.

This evening I recorded my January cover tune assignment as chosen by Sandy. The song is You Got It Bad, originally done by Usher.

Brian and Brianne, you're up.

So many thoughts I'd love to share, but it's time to call it and get ready for the workweek. Fortunately I did jot down some of it in my journal, so if there's time soon, I'll try and toss some of that in.

Speaking of time, use it as well as you possibly can. It dissipates so very quickly, and you can come to the end of a day and not have that much to show for it. Today I feel great about having completed my assignment before midnight on the 31st. Next month I'd like to be done earlier in the month so that I have a little time to sit with it and not feel rushed at the end of the process.

Have a fabulous week, everyone. If our God is for us, then who would even dare...?

Goodnight, Beautiful...

Goodnight, Strender

230--running

So today was busy and fun, again. I promised I'd record a chapter so I did. My LTG is reading the book of Ephesians right now, so it was easiest to just record one of the chapters I'm reading with the group.

I've loved it that for the past 7 or so years, I've always had keys to a sanctuary in either Oregon or Los Angeles. For the music on tonight's podcast, I ducked into the sanctuary and played 3 tracks on the church's keyboard.

Have a great evening, y'all. I'm off and running. Lots of music to accomplish this weekend. I'm really not ready to record that Usher song yet, but it's time. I promised.

Pick A Chapter, Ephesians 1, selected by my LTG

Goodnight, Beautiful...

Goodnight, Strender

231--Band

General arrives in Salem tomorrow. I just met this guy a year ago. Feels like I've known him much longer, and that's a good thing.

Harry, thanks for checking in. I always know Harry's gonna call me up just to make sure all is well. I've been hanging with my fellas lately and although I haven't seen Harry's face in months, I just appreciate the thoughtfulness of a quick "hey, you crossed my mind..." Truthfully, guys aren't especially good at this with each other, but I'm finding a core group who are proactive about connecting despite time and distance.

Planning to hit the coast with Matt this Sunday. Get some Oceanity going on, some beachness. Although, I should warn you, island-boy don't like that cold water. The ocean's always so beautiful to look at, but I am not about being frozen or drowned, so we'll be admiring from the shore, thank you very much. Maybe catch a couple good photos.

Got carded again at the In My Opinion show on Sunday night. This coming Saturday night, I'm the one checking ID's at my friend's bar, where a band called White Buffalo is playing. Looking forward to that. My mom said to me a couple weeks back, "you really like variety in your life, don't you?"

Yeah, I really do.

Today, while I was learning how to 'Concatenate' in Excel (let me just tell you, you will love this function), a thousand miles away Davids Cowan and Williams were mixing one of the next tunes that's coming up for release. I love that! I'm busy at my job and they're working on the music and I'm nowhere near. How cool! It takes a village, and I have been blessed with an amazing village. I spent a couple hours this evening with the worship community working on a song..."Hallelujah, Hallelujah, you make all things new, all things new..."

Haven't read a chapter podcast in a while. I'm getting off here now and go start on that. That's what I should be doing right now--I'll post it tomorrow after work.

peace to those who mourn

Goodnight, Beautiful...

Goodnight, Strender

232--Systems

Shawna taught me how we process the exception reports this morning. Then Melissa taught me how to place orders in the system and how to build a new order by copying an existing order. Am I looking for the word 'mundane' or 'tedious?'

No, actually, I'm looking for the words 'blessed' or 'providential.' This is that time in my life where I'm building structures and rhythms, establishing parameters and protocols. This is the year for systems to come into play and as Love would have it, that very part of me is being developed at my job.

I'm going to need systems to keep up. Systems are to business what leverage is to lifting heavy things. And we are trying to get something large off the ground here, so all the leverage we can create will be most welcome.

More and more often, I hear myself saying "I have a system for that." Even better, I hear myself say "WE have a system for that." The power of WE is unstoppable.

Don't take it personally if I haven't been in touch on the phone like you're used to. I can't accomplish what's ahead if I spare 30 minutes here or an hour there for phone conversations. This blog, even if you don't like the idea, is a system for updating lots of people with a single communication. More than one of you have said to me, "if it wasn't for your blog, I wouldn't know what's going on with you."

Exactly!

I'm gonna go work on that Usher song Sandy assigned me.

Goodnight, Beautiful...

Goodnight, Strender

232--In My Opinion

I may have found a way to live more simply, but it's definitely not slower. Moving faster than ever--it's just going in one direction now.

Just off the phone with Kharla. She's putting a lot of energy into the Laguna Niguel concert. I'm really excited about bringing a couple musicians down to CA in a few weeks. We have Southern Cal musicians, Brian Lauritzen (Cello) and Daniel Estay (nylon-stringed guitar), and a couple Oregonian rockers Isaac Sturtevant (electric guitar) and Anthony DiRocco (drums), and we'll see what happens when all that comes together. I'll tell you what, I played just one song last Friday with Anthony on drums and it was something special, in my opinion.

Speaking of which, that's the name of their band..."IN MY OPINION"

I've heard Isaac's music for years. He's always been musically excellent. I love, love, love his acoustic stuff. It's technically exquisite and melodically brilliant, and it keeps me listening. But there's something new afoot here. For being away in CA, I hadn't heard him play in quite a while and my first time hearing him again, after several years, was last September at Festival of Tents.

I'd heard through the network that his daughter had died a week prior. I'd seen the heaviness around him like a shroud. I can only imagine he was in unbearable pain. From this anguished place he stood up in front of the gathering and sang about his trust in God with such deep and resolute conviction, I was moved to silence. There is nothing I can say about it. The man stood there, raw and bare, and sang about trust and peace with an almost wistful smile about him. And I saw him differently than I had before.

Last night I saw him differently again than before. I've known Isaac the acoustic, the gifted solo musician who crafts quirky and playful tunes like "Oregon Burrito," a danceably amusing tribute to a favorite local food establishment, "Muchas Gracias."

What I saw last night I was simply not prepared for. Whatever it is that happens when he and Anthony turn up the volume, crank the distortion and let it ride, this is an Isaac I have only just met. I got video footage--trying to have it online for you guys by weekend. Only downer was that I lost my phone at the concert.

This morning as he walked into work, yes we work together at Oregon Wine Services, he handed me my phone (it had fallen out in the backseat of his Orange 73 Volvo wagon), and said out loud what I was thinking.

After Friday night and last night, I was thinking I'd like to have Anthony play drums with us at the Laguna Niguel concert, because we're all in the same small town and we can rehearse together and prepare and practice and craft something tight enough to withstand 1000 jarring miles in a VW bus. Does it get any more authentic than that? They're driving to Cali in a VW van!

I never got to suggest it, because it's what Isaac brought up this morning. Anthony's going along for the ride anyway--they have some important business with a couple industry professionals in LA. I'm serious, what these guys do is gonna be hot property, in my opinion.

So as long as Anthony's gonna be there anyway, and since we can rehearse together, well you get the picture.

Later in the day, I'm standing over by the conveyor belt thinking how much I enjoy jamming with bassist Kevin Nichols. Isaac says to me, "hey, you should play a couple of your tunes at our gig on Friday."

In My Opinion and Auburn (lead-man Sean Lewis, another friend) are playing at a vintage-clothing store this Friday and now I'm in for a couple songs.

Isaac continues..."you should ask Kevin Nichols to play bass with us, me and Anthony and Kevin will jam with you on some of your tunes."

I'm not sure what's brewing here, doesn't need a lid, doesn't need a label. There's something stirring in this sleepy town.

238--Taking captive

Adult magazines don't do anything for me anymore. Or computer images. There's nothing there. In fact, I'm a little repulsed by those images. I still give them a wide berth, lots of room to go around in the other lane. But those images don't do anything for me anymore.

My imagination is capable of all manner of extrapolation. For a while after the 2-dimensional images lost value, there was still the thrill of stolen glances (or robbed stares) at the women I met in real life. What's the harm? She doesn't even know I looked at her that way and filed an image in my database for retrieval at some other convenient moment.

I'm a weak man. That I survived that battle long enough to win it, is proof to me that Grace is at large among us. I think of the man who wrote the hymn "Amazing Grace." He's also quoted as saying "I am an amazing sinner, but God is an amazing savior..."

Yeah, I can relate to that.

Then the battle moved up a notch. After it was virtual strangers, or stolen visuals, it moved on to good, nice church girls. Godly women and emotional dependence. I mean, come on, I'm not getting physical or even stealing mental images for sexual gratification. I'm just being friends and sharing....sharing...quality time, words of affirmation, intimacies that should not be given to someone else's wife. And that's who they are, even if they're not married yet--they're somebody else's wife.

I can even rationalize that since I don't have a wife, I have to be able to outlet these emotions somewhere, right? Funny thing about rationalizations--they work because we want them to. While I lie to myself, I know that's what I'm doing. I'm doing it so I can have my cake and eat it, cause I like cake, don't you?

Eventually, I had to face the fact I'm being grossly inappropriate in emotional dependency with my "not-wives," and whatever consolation I took in being physically appropriate is completely overwhelmed in the sadness of hurting someone I dearly love through misplaced emotional intimacy.

Ok, so what's the current battlefront? What's today's new and improved temptation? What are my present opportunities for rebellion? Well, all of the above and a particularly potent newbie. It's this lingering thought that maybe I should just take what's available and be satisfied. Not for need of physical comfort, although I miss that, or for want of emotional connection, although that is an incredible gift. It's because of a desperate desire for spiritual union that I find myself imagining scenarios in which I help God fulfill His promise to me.

I'm being vague, but hear me if you have the ears for it. The thought that I might improve on His plan, that I can do this better, is what got me here in the first place. Having bumped and bruised my way here, I'm more inclined to camp with Job at this time--He gives, He takes, blessed be the name of the Lord.

In musical context, I enjoy the saying, "do something once, it's a mistake, do it twice--it's jazz!" But in matters of disobedience I say "do it once, it's a mistake, do it twice it's another mistake...keep doing it, that's just stupid."

Taking every thought captive means just that. Every thought. Self-pity on lock-down. Entitlement imprisoned. Build a stronghold of Obedience around familiar territories of discontent.

I just spent an amazing evening in conversation and ice-cream (a little known, ancient, far underestimated, but now revived vehicle of worship) with some of the most incredible humans anywhere. So I'm hopped-up on Joy and good relations. Or maybe that's just sugar.

My car battery is giving out. I might need a ride to work in the morning. Better get some shut-eye so I'm up early enough to know if I need to carpool and have time enough to make that call.

Bought airline ticket for CA last night so I'm set for travel to the next concert.

Goodnight, Beautiful...

Goodnight, Strender

239--estoy cansado

I had no idea how far Joelle and Kharla went to bat to secure the Laguna Niguel venue for us. I just found out they called the Pastor on a three-way conference call and shared values about this ministry and made a pretty convincing case for why this music would be of benefit to that community. Now that just makes me want to pour another 200% of my heart out for listeners and friends who support the way you guys do. Thank you.

Wanee asked, since I'm bringing Isaac and his wife down from Oregon to share with the CA listeners, would I need a place for them to stay? I love that you asked before I even thought to ask. Thank you.

So yes, this weekend I did my first on-camera reading for the role of Jonah the bus-driver in Pull Stop. It's fun. It's scary, too. I lost all my playfulness when the cameras came on. I was laughing and joking with Malia and Dawn most of the day, but when it was time to read on-camera, I became very serious and didn't smile much. Not a whole lot of goofy-Lennox on that footage.

I don't think the character Dawn wrote is all the way to goofy, but he's a little playful in this conversation with his passenger, and I have 6 months to be sufficiently comfortable around cameras so I can portray that guy.

Best part? I'm thoroughly excited at the challenge and opportunity!!! I loved it!! I mean, really, I can't wait to do this.

Didn't make it to see Leroy Critcher Saturday night, but another time. Going to Isaac's EP release concert at the Hawthorne in Portland this coming Sunday. I'm actually operating one of the video cameras. Just met his drummer Anthony yesterday. Really cool dude, and monster drummer, by all reports. I'll experience first-hand shortly.

I'll post a clip from Isaac's concert on my youtube Sunday night when I get back, or maybe Monday night, because now that I think about it, I'll need some time to secure the audio from the live recording.

I've been thinking about the difference between power possessed and power expressed. Generally speaking we value power expressed and regard power possessed as weakness. The measure of power is in affecting circumstance, in making people do what you want. What of the quiet power that frees choice--isn't that stronger still?

I think about the proclamation that the meek are blessed, and wonder how often we mistake deliberate peace for weakness. Do we simply assume that all who are not exercising power, simply have none?

Are we strong enough to be tender? If it's power we want, would it take more or less of it to lay aside pride? Which choice requires more strength?

I'm full of questions right now.

Maybe I'll sleep it off.

Goodnight, Beautiful...

Goodnight, Strender

244--Casting

Met Chuck at CHW guitars on my lunch break when I dashed over there to pick up a music stand for work. Yes, I use a music stand in my job at the winery. Needed something to hold orders at the Fedex terminal. I thought, "hey, you need something that stands there and holds paper so you can read it and keep your hands free to type on this ... Keyboard?"

Didn't know who the music stores are in town, so I googled "music store 97128," and got Chuck at CHW guitars. He has this beautiful Washburn hanging on the wall there and I played it for a couple minutes. Pretty piece of wood. Also met Joe from Stratoblogster at the shop, and he invited me to jam together. Can't wait, Joe.

I love life! Can I just tell you?

Ok, so I'm a bit nervous about reading for this part. Excited at the prospect of acting a small role in an independent feature film, shooting in Portland this summer with Miscellaneous Q Productions. Excited to work with my friend Dawn Pruit-Bacon on a script she wrote and is now producing. Excited at the way the Mcminnville and Portland communities are coming together to make this movie.

It's the best of both worlds--country living and city dwelling intermingled. I've sometimes thought, "if I could have Hollywood in Sheridan, I wouldn't have to leave Sheridan to get to Hollywood."

Now that's deep, right? Well, what if I could? I mean, there's music here, and art, and film, and interesting people I really enjoy, and look at all those trees!

I'll be accompanying Dawn and Malia to the casting session this weekend. So far I've seen head-shots and resumes, and I look forward to meeting these actors and seeing them do that magic thing actors do. You know, the part where they turn into someone else before your very eyes.

I met Dawn's now-husband at my going-away party 4 years ago when I moved to LA from here. Spent more time with him this evening over dinner with Dawn and a couple other of their friends, one a metal-gone-acoustic musician dude that I think I'm gonna really dig.

So, on Saturday night, said cool-musician-dude and his wife are taking me to see a guy named Leroy Critcher, who they tell me is a phenomenal musician. He plays music for free at his place in Mac on Saturday nights. Come listen if you feel like it.

Just read through the part of the script with the character I hope to play, and I feel a bit less nervous now. I think I can do this.

I'll read through it again some more tomorrow, in between sorting video footage.

Goodnight, Beautiful...

Goodnight, Strender

245--Real Talk

One of the main reasons I was scared to speak up is the absolute filthiness of my own record. Who am I to tell anyone to flee from sin?

I tremble that if I speak someone will say, "aren't you the guy that was addicted to pornography and cheated on your wife?" Yes, I was.

Therein the beauty of grace. I once was, but now...

I know who I was. I lived with me, in shame and disgust the entire time, unable to make it go away. When I talk about Jesus with fire in my eyes and tears in my voice, I'm falling headlong into the memory of who I was. My souls screams with Joy to be free of the path I was on.

It cost me so much. She was my favorite person. And I made her feel like she didn't matter at all. This isn't guilt or remorse talking here. This is me saying something because I really don't want to see you go down the same road. You're being sold a bunch of lies and illusion. The deception that you can have the connection you seek without the commitment. It's not true and the sad thing is that the reveal will likely come to you after the trap is sprung. If I could time-travel from here and tell younger me what I've learned, I sincerely hope younger me would have the good sense to listen.

But then, in fairness, other good men did speak to me and try to help me see the error and the danger. I just wanted what I wanted. Word says that with every temptation there's a way of escape. How many times did I look right at it and keep on going, because I believed a lie more than the truth?

When the smoke cleared I was left holding pain that was passed to me by men and generations before; it was passed to them by fathers I've never met. Because built into this fall is the shame to keep us silent. For my family, it ends here. The Lord has healed so much more than I could have imagined, and there's more to go, but go we will, because I'm not passing this on to my kid. And while we're at it, if my ranting gets you to think for even a second, I hope that's long enough for your good sense to kick in.

I never wanted to preach. The reason I have to talk to these friends of mine is that I don't want you to find out painfully that gravity works. What I mean by that is that you're being convinced that your situation is different. You guys really love each other and you guys have talked about all that stuff and you guys know what you're doing and it won't happen with you guys that way. But have you looked around at how many other people 10 years ahead of you on the same path have crashed and burned?

Has it occurred to you how fervently they believed that gravity would somehow not work on them? Even if you do make it to marriage, you will have weakened your ability to trust and respect each other in ways that will come to haunt you further down the road, by which time seeds planted now will have germinated and matured into trees that will be difficult at best, impossible at worst, to uproot. By the time you realize you've been played, there may be children involved and your pride and shame will catch you in a cross-fire.

There's more to say, but I ought to leave something for tomorrow, no? Another 14-hour day ahead and then a meeting with Dawn to catch up and talk about the upcoming film project.

I hope you hear me and I hope you still like me. But if I must choose, I hope you hear me.

Goodnight, Beautiful...

Goodnight, Strender

247--Variance

The fruit of the spirit is Love. See, I can prove I went to Sabbath School yesterday. Love your enemies, that's from Wednesday's lesson. Love your enemies? That ain't natural. It's not logical. But that's Love. You can argue against faith, or even hope, but the greatest of these is Love. Love supersedes logic, and against such there is no argument.

Had a great time at Sunset Christian Fellowship yesterday. They loved my pink fingernails and all. I always know I'm gonna enjoy a church where there's a food break.

Jim took me to Albany Vineyard today. Something powerful happened during the music time and I can't articulate it yet. It's still swirling in my spirit. I kept getting a twitch or spasm and I said to God, "what's that about?" To which He replied, "I'm just touching you, this is nothing. Wait 'til I start pouring." Then I had a vision of me flailing about like a man grabbing the live end of an electric cable. That's the part I could understand and articulate. There was some other stuff where I knew knowledge was being downloaded into me, but I had no words or pictures for it, and still don't.

Some thoughts from yesterday:

What's the law for? It's a mirror, not a miracle. The miracle is Grace. It's Grace that changes us. The Law doesn't make us better--it just shows us accurately where we are. Which makes me think of the inventory we just did at work. What's on the books levels a certain expectation on us, and any variance is sin.

I think we do dis-service by not talking about sin, as though the variance is unimportant or will self-correct. More than once in the last couple of years, I was clearly instructed to say something to someone about a variance, and I was afraid because of what they might think of me.

I'm not going to just tiptoe around some vague variance. There's a lot of sex outside of marriage and we all know that. But those of us who are professing faith in Christ, are claiming to live by a standard, and it's not our variance alone that's costing us the respect of the world around us. It's that we ignore it and pretend everything matches. That duplicity of speaking one standard and living another, that's costing us more.

I'm not speaking from a righteous place. Everyone knows I struggled and lost in this arena. Maybe that's my curse. Or is it my blessing? Because of failure, I know through clear variance against the Law that I cannot fix this. I know that only Grace can change this. And it starts with admitting the variance. Until I do that, I'm pretending everything is as it should be and I can handle this on my own. I'm pretending I'm God.

Sorry to disappoint. I am not God.

Sorry to disappoint further. You're not God, either.

Pick A Chapter, Job 40, selected by Aliena Fleary

Goodnight, Beautiful...

Goodnight, Strender

249--Dwellers

photo by Darlene Taylor

So, those are my nails when Beatrice got done with them last night. A few people looked at me funny. Tammy was the first to ask.

"Are your nails painted?"

"Yes, they are. Do you prefer the pink or the purple?"

....silence....

"I take it you prefer neither."

Today Cory taught me about NFP(Non-Farm Payroll) and the Pips, and the Japanese Candlesticks. All this day-trader lingo--I know just only a bit more about it than I did before, but that little is welcome. He also made reference to Malcolm Gladwell's book Outliers. I wonder how close or far I am from 10,000 hours as a music professional? At what other pursuits have I logged a substantial number of hours? Have I logged more hours at music or at business?

I'm still enchanted by the word 'dwell.' God's been speaking that word to me a lot. Lately many of our conversations are a single word or a phrase. There are some matters where I'm supposed to simply refer to the latest instruction, even if that was years ago. But all the way here and upon arrival, I hear this word: DWELL

Interesting that He first spoke this to a nomadic people. He tells them He wants to dwell with them, which means what? For them dwelling was not a way of life. They might stay in a place for a few weeks or maybe months, but whether by season or need of resource, they were a people on the move. Into a culture of place-shifters, as to me, He speaks dwelling.

The tent-sanctuary eventually becomes a temple as they gain permanence, and then comes another interesting development. Having destroyed the temple and rebuilt it, now He wants to dwell in us. And again the temple becomes mobile.

Once when we were movers, the temple went along with the community, then we built cities and the community came to the temple. But now the temple in us is sometimes gathered and sometimes dispersed, insinuated among the community. We are the infiltrators of holiness, if you will.

What would it look like for each of us to BE a temple, mentally, physically, spiritually? Can Shekinah dwell in a person? What was in Moses that made his face shine? What was in Solomon's temple that expelled the clergy, the professional glory-dwellers?

I think about these things as I meet the dwellers of my new home, like the young man I spent 2 hours with this evening, Mr. Waylan Barber. He's been playing the fiddle for 15 years now. I won't attempt his description--he can do that just fine by himself. Here are his own words:

"I see myself as a bard or a minstrel...I'm a modern gypsy"

photo by Darlene Taylor

Playing at Sunset Christian Fellowship in the morning, so I better get some rest.

Goodnight, Beautiful...

Goodnight, Strender

250---Aroma

Insurance agent's office 3 blocks from my apartment. After starting my Oregon insurance policy, I went over another 3 blocks to the bank to change my address with them. Great to see Marissa. It was my plan to get back to the apartment and catalog videotapes for capture and editing.

On the way, I saw Kyle Bagnall standing on the sidewalk and detoured to chat with him a minute. Happens that he was standing on the bit of sidewalk right in front of Slow Train, local coffeehouse. Saw Titus at the counter and stepped in to say hi and to feel the ambiance of the shop again, not having smelled that lovely coffee smell in at least a couple weeks.

photo by Darlene Taylor

Funny that I love the smell of coffee, although I don't drink coffee. I was joking with Ryan Williams the other day about things we love to smell whether or not we partake. Like cigars, and wine. I've had two cigars in my life. Loved 'em both, although it's not going to be a regular thing for me. Still, I do love the smell of a good cigar, or cherry tobacco in a pipe.

So we were laughing about making air-freshener fragrances out of these things, coffee, wine, cigar-smoke. The wine one, for example, wouldn't work so well in a car if you find yourself in conversation with the local police.

At any rate, I stepped into the shop to smell the coffee. And I've been meaning to resume conversation with the owner, Nick. Owed him a beer for about 4 years now.

It was a great 20 minutes. He's so passionate about this town. About the charm and style, about the abundance of artists, about the exquisite beauty of natural setting. Topics ranged through Scientology to Christian community to the power of transparent living. I learned a bit about the desperate realities of sex-trafficking in India.

Dropped off a copy of my first cd for Ryan so he could get it to his wife who might have a lead on a performance at Western Oregon University. Quick tea with Matt at Union Block on 3rd Street, then over to DMV to learn that a written test and $350 will get me an Oregon Driver's License and Registration.

Finally got to work on music around 4, about 3 hours later than planned. Entirely worth it to have accomplished errands and reunions, even some of them coincidental.

When I finally got around to hearing Scott's vocal compositions for Sweet Days, I was struck at his brilliance. It's a really great vocal backdrop that he's sketching here for this song. I instant-messaged him, "you're freaking brilliant, you know."

His response, "I'm brilliantly freakish..."

I don't think we're going to make cigar or wine-scented air-fresheners, and I can smell coffee anytime I visit with Nick. It's just fun to talk about.

photo by Darlene Taylor

Right now I'm in a room with 6 humans under the age of twelve, 2 dogs, a rabbit, and an assortment of adults. Beatrice wants to paint my nails. I have to go now.

Goodnight, Beautiful...

Goodnight, Strender

252--Roxy or not?

10-hour work day. Angela's teaching me how to run the Fedex software. We ship wine to fill online orders. It's a fun job, keeps me moving and challenged, but also allows me to walk away and leave the job at work so I can focus on the goals ahead of me this year.

Had a couple phone conversations with Al Beauman today about playing at the Roxy in Hollywood. Sure sounds exciting. Now that I live here, it's a bit more of a commute, so I was just thinking, what do you guys think I should do? Should I fly down and play this gig? I think it would be fun, at least!

Is that the sort of thing you might support? I think we'll do a test run with the Laguna Niguel concert, since that's a venue I don't have to pay for. Turns out, for small guys like me, you can play the Roxy but you have to pay. And I'm not so much into that. Truth be told, I'm thinking my days of paying to play are done, but then, am I being stupid here? Is this the kind of opportunity you take just because it's there? I once heard it said, opportunity is not a reason. Just 'cause you can do something doesn't mean you have to or you should.

You know what I'd like to accomplish? Can we bring 200 people to the concert in Laguna Niguel? Can we pack that church and have a rocking good time there and then I'll give Al Beauman a call and tell him that I think we can do the Roxy. Cause I'm not trying to do this alone. It's time for you guys to say yea or nay. Just so we're clear, silence is nay.

Talked to Cowan today. He's back in LA from his Christmas travels. I told him not to ever visit me up here, cause he'll want to stay. This place is addicting. Fortunately it rains as a way of naturally selecting those who are worthy to remain.

Today, especially, I feel great! Borderline stupendous! It's widely known that God loves me--the more secret truth is that He likes me too. Love y'all. Have a great evening. I'm going to read for an hour before bed.

Goodnight, Beautiful...

Goodnight, Strender

253---ran out of pavement

I went tonight to a place where there are no streetlights--at all. Back country roads. Gravel roads that tunnel through the trees, and worm their way into the heart of deep stillness. Tonight I played Mike's Special Edition Martin, and learned songs from CCR, The Grateful Dead, Neil Young, Miranda Lambert, the Eagles.

Played the Whiskey Lullaby, and what a beautiful sad song that is. I mean, it felt good to be sad about somethings so poetic.

Met Mike's horse, Sunny. I've never ridden a horse, which Mike says we're gonna change. Seems alright with me.

There were four of us: Mike alternating on bass and electric guitar, Val on acoustic guitar and mandolin, Kathy hosting and song-selecting, and me on a borrowed Martin.

There was a point there on the way back I could see maybe 60 feet ahead into the fog, which is why I was going only 40 miles per hour on a dark and curvy country road..."you gotta die of somethin'..."

I'll be back for more.

Goodnight, Beautiful...

Goodnight, Strender

254--Take it to the Lord in prayer

Avatar, great movie. Loved it. Loved watching it with 10 friends. It was Caleb's first time watching a 3D movie. This was a fabulous weekend. Recorded What A Friend and tried to edit the video of me playing three tracks of guitar and bass.

The idea was to cut the footage together and sync up with the audio of the final recording, but I got fatigued trying to figure it out in Imovie, and I should get some sleep because tomorrow it's back to work bright and early. So I'm just going to stick the audio in here as a podcast at the end of this post and send the mp3 to Cecilia, who requested the song.

I went to Kristi's birthday party last night, a very elegant affair. It was a black-and-white party, which means break out your fancy duds. I rocked the black suit I wore to Sean's wedding. Thanks for choosing stuff we could wear again, man. Good looking out.

Tomorrow night I'm going to Mike and Kathy Aplin's to hear Mike's band as they're getting ready for playing some coffeehouse gigs. Talked with Isaac today about partnering up for a couple local shows, starting with one at Slow Train coffeehouse toward the end of the month. Sounds like fun.

I'm gonna go sit by the fire and read myself to sleep. I'm about 65 pages into Piercing The Darkness, by Frank Peretti. Lori at the library recommended it, and I've read the first one in the series so here we go.

I took away a lot from today's worship service service. Mostly the word "Obedience" is ringing in my spirit. That also reminds me, the men's breakfast yesterday was a pretty great experience, meeting new brothers, spending time with other's I've not seen in a long while. It's one of the first things I look for in a new town---who are my brothers? Who are my warriors? Who can I count on to provoke me to excellence? Who's gonna say, "what are you doing about your intentions?"

There are some brotherhoods that span long distances, like Harry Robinson from LA. I know every month or couple months, I'm gonna get a call from Harry saying "hey man, I'm just checking in with you, want to see how things are going."

Those calls are a lift no matter what kind of day I'm having. A great day moves closer to excellent because of a call like that. The thing with brothers in local community is that there's a shorter cycle for accountability and that's crucial in a life where you can't afford downtime or off-time.

I love it that my living space is on the church campus, so I'm literally right in the heart of the community..... again. I mean, I run into people in the hallway as I'm heading down to light the fire. For some reason this reminds me of Martin. I've been meaning to send him a note. I gotta get on that. So many things to do. I'm as busy as ever, and far more productive. The difference is I'm living one life, not 20. Feels good.

Iphone photo by David Cowan

"What A Friend" by request for Cecilia

Y'all have a great week!

Goodnight, Beautiful...

Goodnight, Strender

256--New Year

Phone call with a couple friends from 8am to 9, then breakfast and dog run. From 10 to 1:37 recorded 13 songs (guitar and vocal) at Isaac's studio, so he can have them to work in preparation for our February concert collaboration.

This afternoon 2-4pm tea with my new Pastor, Richard Wenger, getting to know him a bit better, filling him in on my story.

Then dinner with Caleb, and more conversations about what it means to worship. What's working in the worship life of this community? What could be improved?

I'm reminded of a question the church board tasked us with at Hollywood SDA: How can we be a people among whom God dwells, a people who celebrate worship in ways that both deepen our relationship with God and gives witness to our community?

Richard was telling me about the mission statement of Open Door (so much has happened while I was in LA) and it is "To build family and affect the culture of the West Valley." I'm paraphrasing, because I don't remember it verbatim, but that's what I took away from the conversation. That's a mission I can engage.

Goodnight, Beautiful...

Goodnight, Strender