If I go left, I cannot at the same time, go right. Making a choice renders several other options void. I'm having to weigh the costs of my opportunities very carefully right now. I was planning to be in LA again in a few weeks, to see John Mayer in concert at Staples Center and lead worship on Sabbath at Hollywood SDA.
Last trip we spent $900 to put on a concert and thankfully we came close to break-even. But that's because I didn't pay me and included the sales revenue from my cds and tshirts in with the donations and support for the event. That's a one-time, learning curve, let's figure out how this works type of thing.
Also, the goodness of a single donor who contributed $500, and the generosity of Wanee, who hosted and fed our little band, that's the only way we came close to break-even. Now the thing is, this hybrid of ministry and business, it's not strictly just one or the other. I praying and observing the formation of whatever this is, and adjusting as we go based on the information I'm perceiving.
Transparency is one of my gifts or weights, depending on where you're looking from. Can't afford another trip to CA right now. That I would love to spend time with Lia and Wanee and Leslie and all the other beautiful people that I love in Hollywood--that's a great reason to go but it doesn't justify financial harm to myself.
Been working on a recording that people want to hear and want to share with their friends. I think we can do it. I keep on trying. At the same time that I was planning to be in LA, March 25-27, I have the opportunity to play in concert with my band here and make money at it, then use that money, in tandem with the generous support of the ministry donors, to host Aaron Beaumont in the studio playing piano on two recordings in progress, songs called "Sometimes" and "In The City."
I haven't been able to get the song that I promised Brian and Brianne done in time for the end of February. Realizing that there's so much more going on in my life now, and I need to re-negotiate some commitments. So I'm thinking that instead of shooting for a song cover per month, I'll do one per quarter, 4 for the year. I'll ask Zoe and Dulce to come up with a selection and Wanee to come up with the other and that's about what I think I can handle for covers this year.
Reasoning? It's fun but consumes much time and energy and my focus is on a goal right now. Darlene just commented that having me around Sheridan allows her to see my playful side, which, for those who do not know, is goofy. Nothing sophisticated about it.
6:09, Vegas needs to go outside. I gotta get some breakfast and grab General's GPS from the car, and pack my microwaveable Trader Joe's Mushroom Manacotti so I'll have something for lunch, all in time for 6:30 departure.
Woke up with a lot on my mind. Woke up holding a pillow. There's still, after all these years, a few seconds where I'm half-awake, hoping that the pillow is Suzanne. I need a wife; I need my wife. I need a miracle. It's a nice pillow. It's a soft place to wake up. But when the fog clears and I'm clearly awake, I'm disappointed every time. It's not her.
Yeah, still. That's probably not going away.
We have rehearsal tonight, all the boys. We're playing our first gig together this Friday night at Slow Train Coffee. We did the LA show with Anthony and Isaac, but Kevin's joining us this time and he's a bad boy. Bad boy bringin the bass.
Yeah, I also woke up silly.
My heart is filled with gratitude over this: I woke up. He stopped by to wake me up today.
Have a great day, Beautiful...
Lock and Load, Strender
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