171--Meeting Chuck

Time keeps on slipping, slipping, slipping, into the future (Steve Miller Band).

Just simply not enough time inside of 24 hours to do what must be done in a day. But I'm satisfied to go to bed now, having checked the main ones off the list.

Met Chuck at the bar we played Friday night. He came up and chatted with me afterwards and mentioned that he plays harmonica. Wanted to get together and jam. I couldn't over the weekend, hosting Aaron and JT and all that.

So today I asked if he'd mind stopping by around 8. Also on my list of things to accomplish today is to get the Podcast for Psalm 37 online. Wanee and my mom both want to hear it.

So we combined the podcast and hanging out with Chuck. Here's Psalm 37 against the backdrop of his harmonica. I stayed up another hour adding guitar and some strings and piano.

Psalm 37, Pick A Chapter, selected by Wanee Jeerapeet

Thanks Chuck.

Hope I fall asleep when my head touches the pillow.

Goodnight, Beautiful...

Goodnight, Strender

173--studio prep

Waaay past my bedtime. Up late in the sanctuary running over a couple tunes that we're recording tomorrow at Isaac's studio. I love the stuff Aaron's coming up with for these songs. Aaron Beaumont and JT Spangler put on a great show this evening at Cornerstone Coffee in Mac.

They played San Francisco last night and drove up here today, arriving in time to literally hop out of the car and hop right into their set. I'm loving Aaron's new stuff. Hadn't heard the new tunes before tonight, and also JT's music is a new experience for me. Aaron said I'd like JT--yeah, I do. Dude's voice is like butter. They complement each other so well harmonically and stylistically, and the duet cover of Ray Charles' "Hallelujah I Love Her So" completely rocked.

After the show, Darlene (Aaron's biggest fan) and I took them to Muchas Gracias for a taste of Mac flavor.

Now I'm sitting with Vegas for a minute and I'll be off to bed.

Goodnight, Beautiful...

Rest well, Strender

174--Gratitude

As I'm sitting here reading powerful thoughts from one Pastor I respect, another Pastor I respect walks into the room and lays a hand on my shoulder and says "good morning."

The day is just beginning and already I have so much to be grateful for.

Below is an excerpt from the Daily Chats With God email by Pastor Harold Duarte:

LEARN THE FINE ART OF GRATITUDE!

Gratitude is a choice.
Gratitude is learned. It's a habit.
Everyone can make that choice in the midst of the worst darkness.
You can cultivate the delicate art of gratitude when you drive, when you talk to people, when you work, when you are at the gym... all the time. The more you craft it on your consciousness the happier you will be.

"Many people who order their lives rightly in all other ways are kept in poverty by their lack of gratitude."

Wallace Wattles

"There is no better opportunity to receive more than to be thankful for what you already have. Thanksgiving opens up the windows of the opportunity for ideas to flow your way."

Jim Rohn

The path to happiness is a journey. Each step along the way is important, since without it you would not be able to continue. Sometimes in order to see the next step appear, you need to give thanks for the step you are on. You may not want to stay on this step, however without it you would have no path to your ultimate goals. If you resent the step you are on, it can block you from seeing your next steps and thus block you from moving forward to the fulfillment of your goals. So give thanks for every step, and especially for the one you are standing on now.

"Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos into order, confusion into clarity.... It turns problems into gifts, failures into success, the unexpected into perfect timing, and mistakes into important events. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today and creates a vision for tomorrow."

Melodie Beatie

Today... Express gratitude!

Call two people you are grateful for. Affirm someone for a job well done. Express gratitude in the midst of a difficult moment. Keep thanking God for what you have and watch your day turn into the most phenomenal day of your life!

Let God love you,

Love passionately,

Love extravagantly,
Live in the presence of God!


Your friend and partner,


Pastor Harold
Twitter me@Life Center Church

Grateful for you.

Have a great day, Beautiful...

See you on the field, Strender

175--Too tired to sleep

Couldn't sleep. I get so tired I can't rest. Funny how that works. Funny how it's a recurring theme in my life. How I am continually given the opportunity to find a balance point in this area. Even so, I feel a greater sense of equilibrium than ever. I have 4 days now to work in a different way with greater flexibility. Still much to accomplish, but on my list of things to do, the word "rest" is generously distributed.

Contrasting the concepts of Balance and Equilibrium in my mind. Balance is a static phenomenon. Equilibrium is balance in motion. When I walk, although at a certain point of stride my weight isn't distributed evenly, variables of momentum and intent still maintain equilibrium so that I am balanced in motion.

I've been up since 3:45. Right now just sitting on the sofa with Vegas. Just finished reading Psalm 37 another time. Do not fret yourself because of the wicked. Ok, I won't.

It's been a great week. Last night at rehearsal, I played electric guitar. And...I loved it. Not ready to play it at a show yet, but soon. I'll always be an acoustic heart. My life is built from indigenous woods. But this picture of amplification and power surges, it fits this time.

We're playing Benny Huie's Friday night. Kevin's first time playing at a bar. My first time playing a bar with a band. Last time I played a bar, it was just me and my guitar. Speaking of which, it's still at the shop. I'll call Chuck after 9 and see what's the situation. Even though I could play Isaac's guitar, there's just none like your own. There's a connection between me and that piece of wood.

Vegas is dreaming. He's running in his sleep. Gets me a sort-of foot massage. Almost 7. First call of the day in 7 minutes.

Ahhh, today is a doing day. Much to be done, but some flexibility in the timing of everything. I'll have to fit in a nap. I think I'm actually becoming rested enough to sleep.

178 Focus

Auto-focus. A wonderful feature. My camera doesn't have that. Darlene lent me her camera for my trip to Munson Falls last weekend. Thanks Dar.

What do I automatically focus on? By choosing that point of focus, what else am I missing? When conditions are less than optimal, am I willing to manually adjust my focus?

Just got back from practicing bass for half hour and then praying in the sanctuary. I'm recording this bassline with Aaron this weekend, so I want my fingers to know the path. I'll work on it some more tomorrow evening after Worship Community.

Time to rest so I can be renewed for tomorrow.

Goodnight, Beautiful...

Goodnight, Strender

179--Munson Creek Falls

I love watching a river jump off a cliff...

photo by Eve Scott

May I never grow weary of the sight. This waterfall has carved a path that includes a sluice through a fallen, hollowed log...

photo by Eve Scott

Couldn't have had more perfect weather conditions for hiking. Blue sky, mildly cool temperature. Not sure why no mosquitoes, but thankful of it. I seem to remember meeting some of them at this location last time I walked among these elders.

photo by Eve Scott

Spent time with lovely and talented Eve Scott on this trip to Munson Falls.

That was yesterday. Today after church, prayed with Christine and Clayton by the fireplace. The word "Fire" keeps coming up in prayer and prophecy about the opportunities before this church. Later in the evening, dwelt with Richard and Ruth for a few hours. Delightful couple.

Past my bedtime. I'll tell you more later.

Goodnight, Beautiful...

Goodnight, Strender

181--Learning

My guitar is with Chuck at CHW to have binding replaced and just get a general checkup. So for the last two hours I've been running scales on a borrowed Takamine. Yeah, life is rough.

My fingers hurt pretty bad right now. This process of discipline is downright uncomfortable. Jim said something at breakfast yesterday that's going to stay with me awhile. Jim heard it from Wayne Shenk and it arrived at me yester-morn over omelette delicious: "Do not be learned, be a learner."

The pharisees were learned. They had come to the end of the internet. They knew all there is to know, and had no further use for learning.

I'm learning so much from Leroy Critcher right now. Videotaped last evening's guitar lesson and replayed it several times this morning. Now I know how a triad is formed and a 7th, and how the notes are spaced on a major scale, and what the heck is the dorian mode.

Learning goes deeper than the "aha" moment. Last night I understood it. Now my fingers have to know it so well that they can navigate the turns at high speed. I have to commit to muscle memory what my mind has understood. The test happens onstage in front of an audience, a cloud of witnesses, and it's not enough to know the positions, I have to execute them when the pressure's on.

As Morpheus says, "there is a difference between knowing the path, and walking the path."

Back to scales.

Learning continues.

182--INaction

Rest is too often perceived as synonymous with inaction. To truly rest in God requires being IN action.

I'm having breakfast with Jim, one of the braves. Vegas is aware that it's Thursday and that our chances of finding a field are greatly increased today.

Yesterday I mentioned the DivorceCare daily emails that I receive. Another resource I enjoy is the Daily Chats With God emails from Harold Duarte.

In today's daily chat, this quote: "If you don't like something, change it. If you can't change it, change the way you look at it." ----Maya Angelou

Have a great day, Beautiful...

You too, Strender

183--Between Bedtimes

Got to sleep about 10, so thankfully I think I got in about 6 hours before I woke from a dream.

Just reading emails, including the daily from Divorce-Care. If Divorce has rocked your world, here's a resource I've found helpful: http://www.divorcecare.org

Today's note about the permanence of sexual bonding, and the hope of wholeness and restoration, that's one of the thoughts I receive into my mind and spirit for the launch of Wednesday.

Yesterday was a busy, productive day. Ended with a round-table meeting of the Worship Community. Process continues.

I'm tired right now, but work in 80 minutes and a nap would take me under too long, so I'm up for the day.

What are the Lord's priorities today, and where do I fit in? Finding a place to stay is on my mind. After work we have band rehearsal tonight. At 7, same time as the blood drive at the church, so we'll have to find another space to rehearse. Kevin's meeting me at 6 and we'll work over some lines just the two of us before the other guys get there.

Rehearsal gets me to about 9 and then I'm gonna just climb into bed. I just got out of bed and already I'm planning my return.

Psalm 37. I mentioned it a month ago, from when we crashed at Wanee's. Podcast going on my list of things for tomorrow. I really want to share that.

Have a great day, Beautiful, you are loved...

Stand tall, Strender, you are honorable and I respect you

187--Secret Place

The camera went this far, then I stashed it and crossed the river. Didn't want it to get as soaked as I was about to. Here's what I was looking at a thousand yards earlier.

Went to my secret place today. Not so much mine, and also not so much secret. There are posted signs on the highway for it, which leads me to suspect other people know about it. I mean, somebody made those signs...

Across the river and standing under the falls with the spray blasting through my layers of clothing, I felt extremely alive. I do enjoy Sabbath. Next week I'm picking some other place to disappear.

Shalom.

188--Still Raining

Muchas Gracias. Veggie Burrito. Hello and how are ya!

Dinner last evening with Sarnowski at Muchas Gracias. Just getting to know this man after promising each other for years that we'd find the time. Now this can happen because I dwell here. Four words that God has been speaking to me about this time and place are DWELL, ESTABLISH, STRENGTHEN, PREPARE.

I also finally had that beer Nick and I promised each other about 5 years ago. Great guy. Community Organizer. I don't think he'd use that terminology, but it's who he is. His heart tells great passion for bringing connection and building relationship in this community. We each had a home-made brew by Ryan Williams, one of the newest in my Ryan Collection. Ryan's planning to take the course at UC Davis for brewmasters. I think he'll do super well...it was a tasty beer. Great way to go out--I've decided to put alcohol away. I bear it a grudge, and boycott in protest.

I've seen too many people I dearly love, incapacitated and numbed past effectiveness or beyond good sense, for the shelter and security alcohol promised them. Unfortunately I've never been able to have a glass with them, because I have a glass and they finish the bottle(s).

I got to thinking about the words I've been hearing, especially STRENGTHEN and PREPARE.

Just watched some of the Olympics a couple weeks ago. I thought it funny that fast food commercials were claiming to supply the diet of choice for world-class athletes. I wonder if that's what they really eat as they PREPARE for competition?

If I am in fact preparing to be at my best level of performance, I think I would put into my machine nothing that slows it down. Is it a sin to put regular gas in your tank? I don't think so. Can I run the race before me with slow-down in my veins? Probably. Can I win? I don't think so.

Sugar has been a tough one to put away. Never noticed it until I made the decision. Soon as I said, I'm cutting sugar out, it started to creep into everything! There's sugar in every freaking thing! Did you know that?

Sarnowski and I were talking about how it feels hypocritical to give people sugar or alcohol now that we've made decisions in our own lives to put higher octane fuel in the machine.

I'm not trying to survive. I want to live. To "not die" is simply not enough.

Blah, blah, blah, try the Veggie Burrito at Muchas Gracias. I can rock this.

Yeah, the sleep last night, not so much. Truth, thanks for the text. Right on time, as usual.

It's still raining. I love Oregon, Beautiful...

Stay dry, Strender. Stay warm.

190--a body in motion

I have a headache that must be coming from exhaustion. I'm pushing too hard again. My body wants more rest. I knew when I woke up at 2:48 this morning that there was too much crowding my mind and not enough care going into my body.

I'm taking on a few extra hours at work, starting at 6am now instead of 7. So it's an 11 and a half hour day the first three days of the week. I'm going to give it an honest try for two weeks and then if I can't sustain, call it off. It will work if I just stick to my bedtime. The plan is that I'm in bed by 9:30 and I have to honor that if I'm going to ask this much of myself.

So much to do. Choices everywhere.

Here goes Wednesday.

192--Building A Stronghold

I've been hosting unforgiveness for certain hurts, way too long. Today (technically yesterday, since it's 2am right now) as I was speaking to the church, I heard the Lord calling me to lay aside anger and resentment. It's time to forgive, to give for those who know not what they do.

"Building a stronghold" by Lennox Fleary, Open Door Community Church

Goodnight, Beautiful...
Goodnight, Strender

196--This is where I work

196

I'm very much in need of rest. Today I'll spend a lot of energy, physical and mental. But the idea is to trade for resource, and that's going to happen, so I'm satisfied with the day's agenda.

At the beginning of church board meeting we look over the agenda and vote on whether to accept it or not. I was just doing that with my I-cal. I looked at what I have scheduled for today and approved it as doable and profitable to me and to my service in God's kingdom. What happens when those are at cross-purpose? When seeking his kingdom means destroying mine. Does that happen?

I'm excited and grateful of the times when His plans and mine coincide, but what of the times when they don't?

I'm sad and angry at the same time, listening to the responses. People are basically telling me it couldn't be God's will if it's so different from my own. I'm sad. I want to say nothing. Sometimes He lets me do that. Sometimes my spirit just won't be quiet.

I decided to work half the day today for the extra $50. That's a monthly payment to one or other of my internet promoters. Or half of a studio commitment from a musician for our next recording.

So I'm heading into work and I'll get out at 11:30 to line up some meetings with a few people in Mac. Maybe some new faces to introduce later on.

Have a great day, Beautiful...

Strender, when you feel neither strong nor tender, fight for it.

Stand, whatever it takes.

197--Opportunity Cost

If I go left, I cannot at the same time, go right. Making a choice renders several other options void. I'm having to weigh the costs of my opportunities very carefully right now. I was planning to be in LA again in a few weeks, to see John Mayer in concert at Staples Center and lead worship on Sabbath at Hollywood SDA.

Last trip we spent $900 to put on a concert and thankfully we came close to break-even. But that's because I didn't pay me and included the sales revenue from my cds and tshirts in with the donations and support for the event. That's a one-time, learning curve, let's figure out how this works type of thing.

Also, the goodness of a single donor who contributed $500, and the generosity of Wanee, who hosted and fed our little band, that's the only way we came close to break-even. Now the thing is, this hybrid of ministry and business, it's not strictly just one or the other. I praying and observing the formation of whatever this is, and adjusting as we go based on the information I'm perceiving.

Transparency is one of my gifts or weights, depending on where you're looking from. Can't afford another trip to CA right now. That I would love to spend time with Lia and Wanee and Leslie and all the other beautiful people that I love in Hollywood--that's a great reason to go but it doesn't justify financial harm to myself.

Been working on a recording that people want to hear and want to share with their friends. I think we can do it. I keep on trying. At the same time that I was planning to be in LA, March 25-27, I have the opportunity to play in concert with my band here and make money at it, then use that money, in tandem with the generous support of the ministry donors, to host Aaron Beaumont in the studio playing piano on two recordings in progress, songs called "Sometimes" and "In The City."

I haven't been able to get the song that I promised Brian and Brianne done in time for the end of February. Realizing that there's so much more going on in my life now, and I need to re-negotiate some commitments. So I'm thinking that instead of shooting for a song cover per month, I'll do one per quarter, 4 for the year. I'll ask Zoe and Dulce to come up with a selection and Wanee to come up with the other and that's about what I think I can handle for covers this year.

Reasoning? It's fun but consumes much time and energy and my focus is on a goal right now. Darlene just commented that having me around Sheridan allows her to see my playful side, which, for those who do not know, is goofy. Nothing sophisticated about it.

6:09, Vegas needs to go outside. I gotta get some breakfast and grab General's GPS from the car, and pack my microwaveable Trader Joe's Mushroom Manacotti so I'll have something for lunch, all in time for 6:30 departure.

Woke up with a lot on my mind. Woke up holding a pillow. There's still, after all these years, a few seconds where I'm half-awake, hoping that the pillow is Suzanne. I need a wife; I need my wife. I need a miracle. It's a nice pillow. It's a soft place to wake up. But when the fog clears and I'm clearly awake, I'm disappointed every time. It's not her.

Yeah, still. That's probably not going away.

We have rehearsal tonight, all the boys. We're playing our first gig together this Friday night at Slow Train Coffee. We did the LA show with Anthony and Isaac, but Kevin's joining us this time and he's a bad boy. Bad boy bringin the bass.

Yeah, I also woke up silly.

My heart is filled with gratitude over this: I woke up. He stopped by to wake me up today.

Have a great day, Beautiful...

Lock and Load, Strender

198--wake up

treadmill, 15 minutes. planks, 2 sets, 30 seconds each. emails to Aaron regarding possible studio collaboration, and maybe a Beaumont performance in Mac on the 29th. I have a couple ideas about that.

come on, Beautiful, let's get to it...

up and at 'em, Strender. Built for Battle...

199--as his custom was

I like it that the phrase "as his custom was," is used to describe Jesus' activities. He had patterns and rhythms and routines and systems. I'm sitting here in the sanctuary, end of a long day. After work, went over and laid a scratch track for "Sometimes" at Isaac's studio.

I came in here to pray. It's one of my customs.

Working on a possible concert date in LA on April 17th. A little bit daunted at the expense of transporting a 4-piece band a thousand miles and back in 3 days. It's one of the things I'm praying about.

Got word I might get to visit with Aaron Beaumont here in my little green paradise soon. How awesome that would be!

Have you heard Aaron's music? Better get on it: http://www.myspace.com/aaronbeaumont

Now i'm going to bed.

Love you, Beautiful...

Much Respect, Strender