349---I don't belong here

I played a washtub bass today. I have got to get me one of these! 

Love hanging out with Brian and Brianne and Rebecca. Good times and hot soup. I was in the kitchen talking to Brianne about home-buying and across the living room we overhear Brian and Rebecca having the very same conversation.

 So, yeah, about the socks. Keaver and Kat used to joke at rehearsals about naming the group Funky-Socks and the Hotness!

On my left foot, an orange sock with black stripes. On my right foot, a green and brown sock. Not an accident. It's been a while since I wore matching socks. If you catch me wearing matching socks, I've probably procrastinated laundry. 

Here's the story...

My momma did a great job as my home-school instructor. I appreciate that she taught me to treasure the art of learning, which is much more valuable to me than simply learning facts. I took the entrance exam to high school at age 8, and passed it. By the time I graduated from High School at age 13, I was still younger than the freshmen. In the British system they're not called Freshmen. They're Form One students. Sophomores are Form Two and so on up to Form Five. 

I knew when I was 8 that I was designed for music. Even then I knew I had to find a way to follow the muse. My parents really value education. So I told my them that I wanted to go to college in the States.  They said I could go when I finished the highest level of education available on the island. That turned out to be the two year A-level program at IFE (Institute of Further Education). 

So now I'm 15 and there's no higher education at home. Off to Napa Valley, CA, to Pacific Union College. 

While my academic life set off for new shores, my social life remained firmly docked.  I'm told I was an outgoing child, but in this period of academic acceleration, I think I just had no one my age to hang out with. So from about 13 to 20, I just went inside and kept quiet. Didn't really have any friends. All the people in my class were 5 years older--all the people my age were 5 classes behind. 

I remember one day in the college cafeteria considering that human relationship is a subject like anything else. It occurred to me that it can be studied like Chemistry or Biology; it can be learned. There must be rules to this phenomenon and a schema of what works and doesn't. There must be a set of practices that elicit desired responses. I set about to learn this art like any other subject I had tasked my mind to understand. 

I would observe and even take notes. I'd watch how people interacted and see what results they achieved, short-term and long-term. For a while I was too scared to try anything on my own, but I also met some really encouraging people like Charity and Christine and the Graf Girls (if you know them you know, if you don't, never mind) who talked to me even when I had nothing to say in return. 

I was clumsy at first. There was a laughable awkwardness about my early attempts. 

Eventually patterns emerged, understanding began to settle, the skillsets solidified. There came a point I knew how to connect with people deliberately, without manipulations, just a natural expression of curiosity and goodwill. 

 

Today I'm blessed with hundreds, maybe thousands of friends. It's not an escape from intimacy, or a facade of connection. I enjoy a wide range of relationship from casual acquaintance to very deep, close friendship. 

Once upon a time I would have done anything to fit in. Today I weigh choices differently. Now that I have social options, sometimes I choose not to fit in. Fitting in is less important than doing the right thing. 

I wear mismatched socks in solidarity with those who desperately want to fit in, but can't seem to find a crack in the door. I wear mismatched socks to remind me of the days I would have done anything to match. Orange on the left, Green on the right--I fit where I fit. And I don't fit where I don't fit. 

I choose colors at the top of the day with a symbology in mind. Blue, for example, is peace. September 6 I wore purity and peace to Alburn and Kelsy's wedding. 

photo by Alicia Smith

Now my friends support the habit. Jordan mailed me the coolest pair of rainbow colored toe-socks. Thanks, Jordan... Elysabeth, I really loved the blue and black striped ones with the orange toe. 

How does google do that? I'm typing about mis-matched socks and the little sidebar thing brings me this link: http://www.littlemissmatched.com

Here's to misfits. We don't belong here. 

Goodnight, Beautiful...

Goodnight, Strender.