76--Performance

I've never entered a talent competition before tonight. Was a new situation for me. I was just talking with a friend a couple weeks ago about how we both hated sales, but I'm coming now to realize why it was necessary for me to learn sales and marketing all those years in all those various companies. It was all part of my training for this. For such a time as this, I've been prepared. Again, even when I did not follow, I was being led.

I realize that what I hated (feared) was sales quotas. The concept of having to deliver a specific level of performance. Now I find myself demanding a high level of musical performance and measuring that against audience response and feedback, i.e. customer satisfaction. In some ways a great concert performance is to me like a sales pitch. It's a dance of exquisite conversation. It's relating to someone and then creating an experience with them.

I've been looking at this all wrong. See, I love building relationship. My customers/clients/audience/fans can tell that I genuinely love them and they show up in support of that. Now if I can backfill that with an excellent musical experience and the knowledge and chops to back up these lyrics, that's a performance worthy of my audience.

When I arrived at the competition this evening, I saw one of my guitar heroes. He's an amazing player and I look forward to sharing a stage with him and making a couple recordings together. I am a fan. Tonight he was a competitor. I'll admit my heart sank when I saw him. He's light-years better on the guitar than I am.

This evening I received high praise from an audience I am falling head over heels in love with, the community of Mcminnville. Not all 26,000 residents showed up this evening. More like 26, but that's a start, no?

Having been selected by the judges as one of three semi-finalists, I stood there next to my guitar hero and considered that the second prize of two rounds of golf was really not a bad prize. It's been years since I went golfing and I can think of a couple buddies who would love to be my company on days as beautiful as these. Could have been a thing, General.

The final decision was made by audience response.

The award to the second-runner-up left me and him still in the competition. While I sat there planning my golf invites, they announced the first-runner up. It was him!! What!?

To my friend, supporter, collaborator Dawn, thank you for talking me into the competition. It was nice to win, but it was even more special to make another connection with the Mcminnville audience this evening. That, to me, was priceless.

Dawn worked tirelessly to set up this and several other events in the last few weeks as a campaign raising money and awareness for cancer research. Reverbnation says Dawn is one of my biggest fans. For all you do in the community, my dear, you should know I am also one of your biggest fans.

Rae Dawn Pruit of Miscellaneous Q Productions

82--Ice Cream?

Just got done chatting with Richard again. It's the noon-on-Thursday rhythm. Jonathan stopped by for breakfast, then Dugger at 9. I like that there is some predictability to my life. It counters the other parts where I have no clue what's going to happen. Wonderful to have that balance.

Looking forward to some time with Lauritzen this afternoon. He's not up here, but we have a phone date. Deepening male friendships, really enjoying that part of life.

Ok, seriously, this weather we are having is stupidly perfect!

My amp arrived yesterday. Haven't had a chance to plug it in and turn it on yet. It's just sitting there in my living room, all beautiful and new. Now somehow between right now and tomorrow night, I'm going to attempt to use it and the looper pedal Garner lent me, to craft a song cover that I want to use in tomorrow night's concert. Hmmmmm, better get to work.

86--Guy In The Back

Happy Father's Day!!

A few years ago I was playing a small coffee-shop where music isn't so much a focus as a background against which friends maintain conversation. It's tough sometimes to play to an audience that's not really paying attention. It feels like being half-ignored and mostly rejected.

But then there's that one or a couple who really connect with what you're doing. You can pick them out every time your eyes sweep that section of the room. They're making eye contact, they're singing along, they're swaying to your beat. It's that connection that keeps me playing over the din and the chatter.

So there I was playing this gig, and I look up and see him again. That guy. I didn't know his name. I'd seen him at my gigs before. He knew all my songs. He'd sing them with me. Anytime I looked over there, he was mouthing the words. And every time I tried to get back there after a show to make his acquaintance, he was gone. He'd leave right at the last note.

I wrote this song because of that guy at that coffee-shop, but over the years it's become a song that reminds me of the amazing brotherhood and support and mentoring that has blessed my life.

So this song is dedicated to the men whose love and friendship have set me this far along a road I could not travel alone. Thank you very much, all of you.

Top of the list is my Dad. If I could choose, this is the guy I'd pick:

Thompson Leo Fleary

And to all my brothers, I would list names, but then I'd forget someone and that would be unfortunate. So just know that I'm grateful to each and every one of you for the impact you have had on my life. Here's the song:

Guy In The Back

There's a face that comes to my mind in the middle of every show

A brother that I hardly know

He's there every time

When I get off-track and I got to go back to my favorite song

He'll be singing right along

He knows every line

He knows every line

This is for the guy in the back with the funky little hat and the jacket on

The brother that I'm counting on

To help me when I sing my song

When I see your face then I know that I'm in the right place

And I'm not alone

Even when you're up and gone

I'm gonna be alright

I tried to catch him at the door

Just to say to him "Hello" before he got away

And listen what he had to say

And maybe get to know his name

He said I sing cause I know what it feels like just to be a simple man

I sing because I understand

I'm singing cause I'm in the band

Yeah I'm in the band

This is for the guy in the back with the funky little hat and the jacket on

The brother that I'm counting on

To help me when I sing my song

When I see your face then I know that I'm in the right place

And I'm not alone

Even when you're up and gone

I'm gonna be alright

Here's to the brotherhood, Strong and Tender.

That's you, Strender

89--In Association With

I was on the phone when Jonathan arrived at my door this morning at 8am. We made breakfast and caught up as we have every Thursday morning for the last couple months. Goal-setting, reporting in how things are going.

I meet with Richard every Thursday at noon. Usually we get together at the kitchen by the lounge and have a cup of tea while we talk about whatever's going on in life, at least the part we're aware of. Conversation with this man stretches me further each time. Today we took our mugs to the street. We walked around the block and stopped at an old, broken house that is completely past live-ability (it's a word now). As we walked around inside the house, I thought out loud, "I'd just pull this down and build a new one."

Richard Wenger

Without dramatic pause or a voice inflection for effect, Richard said, "artists usually find it hard to re-do another person's work. You likely have your own vision of this place. If it were me, I'd hoist it up and rebuild it and keep the character."

He then outlined a perfectly sound plan by which he would restore the house. I'm not a builder. I'm a scrap-it-and-start-over kind of guy. Or am I? I seem to work in association with builders, and I'm learning a lot from this particular one.

The point is that my life and business are not in the least separate from my community, but rather a direct result. If my story were told on a screen, it would be necessary to credit that I am brought to you in association with...

...Darlene...I'm using the headshot Darlene took by the railroad track as my current publicity shot and then another that she also took at a Slow Train gig--that shot is for my one-sheet.

...Topher...he's designing the one-sheet. He's also building my new website and I'm loving the changes that are being implemented.

...Sam...just got out of a guitar lesson with Sam. I think he might be one of the most musically talented kids I've ever met and now I'm inspired and I'm going home to work on my music some more.

... and let's see, there's the PUC crew, the Open Door Crew, the Purple Church Crew, Tom Macomber, the ILCT Triad, the dude I met on the plane, and that one guy who knows that other lady, and on and on. It's any and all who have shared wisdom or resource or skill.

In whose association are you produced?

Imagine your life onscreen.

Who's listed in the credits?

91--Guest Post by Shelly Gilliam

Shelly Gilliam

There are people in our lives that make us a better person having known them; for me, that is Lennox. We can go months, even years in some cases, without talking, but have the kind of friendship where we can pick up ages of absent conversation and continue without drama and without reserve. We have always had realness in our conversations that I love and that I have grown accustomed and even demand. I have known him a decade and still feel I only know him just barely.

However, given that long span of time, I have come to know in part, if not wholly, what makes him tick. He is deep, eccentric, fun, serious, driven, relaxed, random, purposeful, talented, humble, and a string of other appropriate adjectives I cannot even begin to list. But perhaps the most important quality I have witnessed over these recent years is Len’s strong sense of conviction and purpose even if he feels otherwise at times. The greatest source of frustration as his friend is hearing about his journey to win back his wife. I feel as if I have been on the front row with popcorn horrified watching the train wreck that is his conviction: Suzanne.

I am certainly a fan of taking the road less travelled and less populated. That road can get mighty lonely and make you want to run to the nearest highway just for the company. I get it. I understand that. At times, I have tried my hardest to be his cheerleader. To encourage, be Christ-like by upholding a brother. I may not currently practice anything in the way of religion, but I know enough being raised in church that I would never question someone’s truth. I know I want to discount it just to save him the grief, but that would put me in dangerous territory, spiritually speaking, and I really do not need that kind of negative attention from Him.

Lennox heard from God, and obeyed. Seems so simple, yet I can’t even stick to a hair color so I have no real measuring stick with which to compare personally. In the spirit of full disclosure, I must confess that I am relieved that I have not been “blessed” with my own particular truth/revelation/prophecy/fortune cookie enlightenment (insert whatever word best suits you). Additionally, I am not a divorcee which makes this exclusive club off-limits or at the very least makes me hesitate to proffer advice when it can be so easily refuted. However, I will say that I think I share in the same feelings when it comes to all those who love Lenny. We just do not get it, and if we do get it, we feel really helpless.

Perhaps, I am just a too realistic when it comes to matters of the heart. I have wanted to reason with him, to talk him out of it, to understand it, to support him and sometimes to not even broach the subject because I know I cannot fake any more platitudes. It is more than a little difficult to stand by watching while a dear friend undertakes a seemingly suicidal mission.

On the other hand, years go by, and I do not do anything. I watch as he makes life decisions based upon a revelation that he should win his wife back. Not by your atypical means of winning the heart of a woman. There are no flowers. No grand gestures. No gesticulating. No primal need to fulfill his sense as a man. It is much more subtle than that. It is spiritual. It is conviction. It is infuriating.

I come to situations with a refreshing (read: caustic) take on relationships. I remove emotion and view it firmly on action versus inaction. That is part of the beauty with Lennox. He lets me remove the veneer and get straight down to the issue. Viewing this situation in the same vein it makes me just a little crazy because I want to tell him to jump from the car heading for the cliff.

I feel life is made from choices. Every minute is a choice, every breath is a choice. We either are conscious or unconscious during the deciding, but decide we do. There is no such thing as fate, soul mates or luck. On the other hand, who does not want to see a happy ending? That perfect special someone completely completing you in their own unique specialness made just for you. It is only human to wish for such serendipity.

I recently asked Lennox if he ever questioned what he heard versus what he thought he heard. I have seen many a person slap God on a huge and horrible decision, only to change their “revelation” when things absolutely imploded. I knew that is not what Lennox is about, but as he explained himself I felt as if I could comprehend a little of the journey he undertook and continues to undertake. I cannot relate whatsoever!

Do not get me wrong. Like I said earlier, whenever we venture into this topic I usually leave with a heavy heart, so sad for him; but in the same sense he makes me want to have such a conviction, such a purpose …. But thankfully the feeling passes before I take it too seriously!

God spoke to Lennox and I do not doubt that. I believe it is his Truth. If it is his Truth, then I will not dare question it. I will be on the path with my dear talented friend until the end, whatever that may look like. If that Truth took a turn or if that Truth transmogrified into something else I will be there for my brother without the “I told you so” on my lips. I will encourage, support and uphold him to the highest standard. I cannot judge someone for the path he leads. Who am I to say what is right or wrong in any given situation?

Perhaps, I have a better view from my box seat in the stadium, but perspective is unique to the individual. I may foresee what is easiest, but not what is right. I have no idea if this will turn out in Lennox’s favor or not, nor does he, but he never wavers. In the end, it really does not matter what I think, but what I do, and I refuse to be anyone’s excuse to fail.

I thought it appropriate to close with a passage, especially since he and I saw this movie so long ago.

"And that's the way of a real tale. Take any one that you're fond of. You may know, or guess, what kind of a tale it is, happy-ending or sad-ending, but the people in it don't know. And you don't want them to."
— J.R.R. Tolkien

93--I am a fan!

What a magnificent day! There's no media by which I can convey to you how beautiful it was here in Sheridan today. Blue, blue, blue skies, lots of clouds, everthing green that should be green, just the right, bright temperature--warm in the sun, cool in the shade.

The thing is, I love rainy days as much as sunny days so I'm never disappointed with the weather around here. Today I picnic-lunched in a graveyard with another who loves the rain. Rapidly becoming one of my favorite artists, Levi Finley sees and creates across several media. Every time I think I know what he does, I find out he does more. I gave away one of his carved wood boxes at a recent concert in SoCal. Today I asked him to design the artwork for my upcoming single release, "In The City," end of July.

I'll keep you posted on Levi's work. I get the feeling we'll have more conversation and collaboration and I am certainly a fan of his art so I'll be following.

After lunch I spent a couple hours with another artist of whom I am a fan. Meet John Harr:

It's after 10, and I'm still making tomorrow's lunch. I had a brainstorm about putting together several tours next year by following the train route and basically just playing where the train takes me. I like this idea. More on this to come. Kharla, we kinda talked about something like this once, me riding the train to your town to do a concert.

I gotta tend to my cooking, so I'll bid you goodnight. Here's a little video from this afternoon. I wanted you guys to meet John and hear him play.

...

wow! couldn't get the video to load the way I usually do it, so I had to figure another method and it took way longer than usual. Now it's 11:42 and I'm going to bed.

Love you guys,

goodnight, Beautiful

goodnight, Strender

94--a mile apart

I'm an Adventist. Definitely. A few weeks ago I was on a video-chat with Young Professor about a song we're working on. As I'm talking to my computer screen, out of the corner of my eye I sense movement outside my window and turn to see Ron Wearner, local SDA pastor, at my door.

My heart leapt. Great to see him. So good to see him. Being in the middle of the session with Cowan, I couldn't entertain Ron's visit right then, but we made plans to connect another time. That time turned out to be Thursday of this week. It was a mix of catch-up conversation, lots of music-talk (Ron is a great musician), and an invitation to Potluck this Sabbath. Without question, Potluck is my favorite spiritual discipline.

Well, I'm just back from Potluck and I'm going to sit for a minute before I grab my guitar and head off to rehearsal, with the worship team of Open Door Community Church, my other church a mile away. Because although I am definitely an Adventist, I am also, definitely, Open Door. See, definitely Adventist, definitely Open Door.

"How does that work?" It's the question my landlord asked when I told him I belong to both churches. "I thought you can't do that," he said.

30 minutes ago, I was sitting at a table of family, eating and talking and laughing. In 45 minutes, I'll be in a music practice session with family, playing instruments and planning chord changes.

Both my family. Definitely. A mile apart. Definitely. Getting closer. Definitely.

95--In The City

My shoulders are killing me. I've been running guitar lines over and over and over and over and over. Working out the part for the new single, In The City, featuring Aaron Beaumont on piano, Anthony DiRocco on drums, Katie Davis and Libby Sturtevant on vocals. I'm excited about this piece of music. I'm getting closer to capturing the sound in my head.

Video Editor Truth Knox just finished this promo for the upcoming single. I love, love LOVE love what she did here. Photography by Leslie Foster.

I'm going back to work. Should be available online in about 6 weeks or so. You're gonna like this one.

98--Creaking

Finally the doors begin to open, against which I have beat my head incessantly for years on end.

I can think of good reasons to panic, but I wasn't really looking, so that's alright.

Goodnight, beautiful...

Goodnight, strender

98--Steve Myerson

I just stepped out of the shower. As I opened the shower door, the jazz trio in the next room greeted me and set me to smiling. There's actually not a band in my house this morning. It's my laptop playing the song "In Your Absence," composed and performed by my new friend Steve Myerson. Amazing song, amazing musician.

I met Steve this weekend in Las Vegas at Music Strategies 2010.

My first thought as the music wafted to me is that this is my friend playing. Seriously? I'm friends with musicians of this caliber? How does this happen to me? And my next thought, which is dedicated to artists and musicians seeking a wider audience:

If you upgrade your associations, you upgrade your audience.

It is possible that one day, people who listen to Steve Myerson might also listen to me. I would gladly share him with my audience, which is, for your information, the finest audience in the world.

Have a great day, Beautiful...

Jazz on, Strender

99--home

General visited with me today in Las Vegas. He just happened to be there in his own journeys at the same time I was there for the workshop. Amazing weekend at Music Strategies 2010. So much learning to assimilate.

Good to be home now.

Whatever your passion is, invest in the education you need to be effective at it.

Thanks, Jonathan, for driving me safely home while I fell asleep exhausted.

100--Pre-show Party

Waiting on confirmation from Waylan that we are playing the show on June 25th in Silverton. If we are, and it seems likely, 15 guests will be invited to hang out backstage before the show for tea and conversation

101--Music Strategies, Day 2

Sarine came out to the concert last night. You should have seen her. She was in there meeting and connecting with several of the musicians and getting her music out there too. I'm so proud of her. We have workshops all day long and then at the end of the day, there's a concert. With about 100 attendees at the workshop, we all put our names in a hat and then perform in randomly selected order, one song each for solo artists, two songs for bands.

In My Opinion was great last night, although the sound system wasn't quite adequate to their volume level. It still translated. Jokers and Jacks also did a great job. I remember just sitting back and thinking, our little Sheridan-Willamina-Mcminnville crew is pretty awesome.

We're planning an acoustic tour together. In My Opinion is a full-band, melt-your-face rock situation. But Isaac's acoustic stuff with just him on guitar or piano, that's a perfect fit for this acoustic idea. Three acoustic acts in combination hitting the road together. I'd play bass for some of their stuff, they'd chime in bass and percussion for some of mine. I love that of all the places I could call home, Sheridan is the place my heart landed. I do love that.

Ok, Lenny, start your engine. Day two begins in minutes.

102-What I need pt. 2

At lunch yesterday, Yannis described a workout based on driving your muscles to the point of complete failure. To the point where you can’t even hold your hands up.

I think this is happening to me spiritually. I can’t keep this up. There’s no way I can plan on living alone surrounded by pretties, always serving, always protecting (even from myself) never possessing. This is impossible. But it is my mission, should I choose to accept it.

I’ve lost sight of my own mission statement for some time now. Don’t remember it happening. I don’t think there was an event. It’s been gradual and I needed today’s power surge to snap my attention to the facts of the situation. I chose to accept this mission. I put my hand to the plow.

Still sitting here on the floor at Caesar’s Palace. Pretty girls still walking by. I still notice them. I’m still a Christian man, not yet a Christian corpse.

I notice you, so if you care, don’t stop being beautiful, just be aware I’m tempted to try and possess you. I have a lot of thoughts to share on the difference between Protecting and Posessing, and the call of the spirit to one, and the call of flesh to another.

If you get how much of a daily struggle this is for me, help me with this. Don’t distance yourself and judge me pervert. This cycle of woman-disgust and man-shame, it’s not helping either of us, is it?

I think it’s important to share some of these feelings because there’s a prevailing idea that when a man submits to Christ, his sexuality evaporates into nothing and he becomes a tame house-cat.

I think the truth should be told that I am having to choose daily to live in congruence with my intention, that I feel the same craving as another man, and the only difference being in Christ makes is that I’m choosing to submit to his standard of what I need instead of my standard of what I want.

I’m tempted beyond what I can bear. Yet I have this knowing that I will get through, in spite of my tired weakness. He who has begun a good work in me will be faithful to complete it. And it is him at work in us both to will and to do the right thing.

Here is verse 2 of a song I wrote a few years ago, right after my divorce:

There’s an angel watching over me

though I do not know her name

and I can’t see where I’m goin

gonna get there just the same

you know I’m gonna live forever

or at least until I die

I love you, beautiful

No more hiding, strender. At least, not today.

102--What I need

I’m sitting on the floor at Caesar’s Palace in Las Vegas. I chose not to attend the workshop in progress about placing music in film and television. It’s something I want to do, but I wouldn’t quite call it a need at this moment. It’s not where I’ve put my focus at this time.

Today it comes to me very clearly the difference between those things I want and those I need. I need to make music. It’s what I’m made to do. I need it.

I need to be near water often and regularly. I need to be within view of trees. Without these things I can survive. But I didn’t come here to just survive. I need to live.

I need to make money from my music. There’s been a shifting in me for some time now and I think the most succinct summation of that matter is that whereas for a long time now I wanted to make money at this or would have liked to make money at this, now I NEED to make money at this.

And I have things to say that you NEED to hear. Like the value of a promise is not a small thing. It costs the promissor and the promissee when commitment is dishonored. Yes, it costs both parties.

There’s pretty girls here in vegas. There’s pretty girls everywhere. But apparently here they’ve run out of cloth for making dresses so these poor things are walking around with 8-inch strips of cloth covering their bodies. I want to look at them and touch them. I NEED to not. What I want and what I need are at odds in the same way that what I feel often contradicts what I know.

I’m a tortured man. Tortured artist. Tortured soul. It was bad enough back when I knew unequivocally that I didn’t have the power to attract women like that. Which starts a whole different dialog about self-fulfilling prophecy, but we’ll get to that. That’s a different story.

What’s torturing me now is knowing how to gain the attentions and, at least temporarily, the affections of these pretty creatures, and yet holding to a code of belief that pre-empts me from taking what I cannot keep, since it was never mine by right of the King’s assignment. (That was a long sentence. I ran out of breath just typing it)

This also reminds me of my conversation with Dan about Peter Parker’s conversation with his uncle and the famous line: With great power comes great responsibility. I’m not claiming magic powers with women. I’m acknowledging that I have an increasing need for responsibility.

This is going somewhere. I have toyed with and avowed the practice of not spending time alone with women. Eventually I go back on that and create justifiable scenarios that allow me to experience intimacy. This time it needs to stay in place.

None of this is new or recent development. It’s just time I stepped from the shadows.

I read Stephen Arterburn’s book Every Man’s Battle. Helpful, especially the concept of the database, the visual database.

Today I found myself walking scared lest my eyes devour and lead me into temptation. And I’m not built for this kind of skulking. I don’t like it and I’m not going to do it. This isn’t living. Amazing how fear dissolves when in the path of light.

So I was telling Amelia about the “bounce your eyes” strategy, because she asked me how all the porn in plain view was affecting me. OK, pause right here to be grateful for family that asks you real questions.

102--Music Strategies 2010

This weekend in Las Vegas is costing me over $600. I was watching people at the slot machines downstairs and I'm fairly confident I got off cheap. It's a $5 charge just to get money out of the ATM.

Last night was the mixer. It was the meet and greet. We met at a lounge and started conversations. Let's see who we connect with. I like Kristin Korb, the bassplayer lady. It's funny how connection works. I haven't heard her play. I just looked up her website right this minute so I could pull up a link to share with you, but I don't have enough time to listen for very long, because I'm meeting Yannis downstairs in two minutes so we can grab lunch and head back to the 2pm session.

I'll have to get going now.

More later

103--Street Team

If you read last night's entry about playing at Coffee Cottage, I found out this morning exactly who I have to get in touch with and his email address. Now I'm going to send him a message saying something like "hey, I would love to come and play some music for your patrons and share a memory in your space."

Yeah something like that, all musician-y and artsified.

So, if you were going to call them, thank you. If you already did, thank you. Do you guys know how to join our street team? We're going to need you a lot in the coming months. So sign up now, I've begun formulating tasks and challenges for the street team. I would like to play in each of the cities that radiate out from where I live, so I'm looking for places to play in Salem, and Corvallis, and Eugene, and Portland. Am I ready to go all the way to Bend yet? Depends on the warmth of the invitation, I suppose.

If you're not on my mailing list or if you are and would like to join the street team, click on this link and thank you so much: http://www.reverbnation.com/lennoxfleary?add_email=true

I'm looking forward to working with you.

Off to lunch with Maria and Yannis. I'll get you some pics from Vegas, and running updates on the seminars and workshops. Hope to have an effective strategy coming out of this weekend.

Colleges, Coffeeshops, and Churches. O my!

104--What happens in Las Vegas, goes everywhere...

Waiting at gate C13 for the flight to Vegas, a man on the next bench over said, "is that Lennox Fleary?" I look up and there's Kevin May. Last time I saw him was at a bar. I had just played a set with Anthony and Isaac, and Kevin's boys had just played a set in the same line-up. The May brother's Jaime and Morgan, band name Jokers and Jacks, are an acoustic rock/pop duo that I just love listening to. They have a great sound and fantastic musicianship. Today I got to spend 2 hours in the air with their part-time manager, full-time dad, Kevin May. Trust me, i'm the lucky one.

A long time ago I read a book called "The Celestine Prophecy." I remember taking away from it that we each have a message to deliver and I should be on the lookout just in case an apparent stranger is actually a courier bearing news that I need in order to complete the tasks ahead of me.

I began this trip with a fair amount of trepidation. I wonder if use the word too loosely. No, I think it's fair use. I was scared to come on this trip. I've been building up to this point for a while, and now that I'm here, it's time to build a business and pull out all the stops and go get paid to play music. Can people really do that on purpose?

I mean, it's called the Music Business. I know very little about music, although I am learning and finding out that intuition and hearing music in your head does count for something. Whatever I know about music, I know less about business, unless, once again, you get points for intuition and hearing stuff in your head. You begin to notice a trend here.

What I'm hoping for this weekend is that I will walk away with a plan for booking paid performance opportunities. I play for the love of playing, but I also want to be able to make a living at this and I'm down to months from the goals I've set for myself.

Thence my trepidation (said it again).

I'm going to sleep so I can be fresh and well-rested, sharp and clear-minded, ready to absorb the nuance and finesse of music marketing strategy. Yes, I fully intend to be a promotional protege by Monday.

Also, I really want to play at Coffee Cottage in Newberg, OR. So will somebody, anybody, all of you, give them a call and let them know that? If you've heard me play and you think I would be a good experience for their customers, let them know that. I'd really appreciate it. Their number is (503) 538-5126.

They'll either hate that I asked you to call and not book me ever, which is what I have right now, or they'll think it's "creative" and "bold," which might just get me a chance to play there.

I already checked with Kevin (that's Kevin Nichols, bass player) and he would love to play there.

Sounds like Waylan is booking us to play Silverton again on the 25th of June. I'll follow up with him about that tomorrow. Wait, it's already tomorrow.

I can just keep on typing mindlessly. This is my antidote to being alone in a hotel room in a strange town.

No, I'll leave you alone now.

Goodnight, Beautiful...

Goodnight, Strender.

ok, for real, just one more thing. Truth showed me the promotional video she made for my next single and I have to say, it's really good!!! I knew it would be, but I was still impressed bigtime. Thanks, sister. I love it.

OK, now I'm going to bed.

Love y'all