Vegas is getting old. We've been together coming up on 12 years! I remember the day he picked me. I hate it that death is one of the rules of this world. It's just rude, the way it interrupts life and relationship. I've really enjoyed my time with this animal. In the next few years one of us will have to wish the other Godspeed until we meet again. Do dogs go to heaven? If they do, this one should.
I don't know the story of St. Valentine, and I'm sure google would gladly tell it to me, but I'm not in the mood to search right now. I've been for a walk, sat by the fire, feeling very content and cozy = not motivated toward research at this moment. These are the lazy musings of a man detached.
I love so many people. I'm loved by so many people. Life is full of this honorable exchange. This weekend and today, I consider what it means that I love my family above and beyond all others. If I love them more, does that also mean I feel safe enough in their company to be the person I truly am when other's aren't watching? Why do we yell at each other and degrade with our words those we claim to love more than the rest?
One time Suzanne said to me, "I wish you would treat me like you treat your friends." I totally get what she meant. I give respect to acquaintances and colleagues who aren't stuck with me and have to stay here and take my crap. But I forget to give the same respect to the people who are stuck with me, either because of a promise they made or because this where they landed.
This dog is my family and that means he gets my time and attention today and everyday, first and before the many phone calls and emails that clamor for attention. I want to meet new people and I want to tell stories to excited new faces and I want to sell you my cds and tshirts, and we're gonna do that, but my highest ministry call is to the ones who dwell with me--Vegas, my church, my village.
Why do pastor's wives and children feel the neglect of watching their men love tenderly and fiercely outside, come home too exhausted to give any more, and simply refuel in silence the better to sally forth again? Am I exaggerating? The why do PK's have the reputation we do? Something inside tells us it's unfair to know that a man capable of such love will direct his attentions everywhere but home to the ones closest and allegedly most precious. All this in the name of God and one begins to question God's way of loving.
By the way, this isn't a dogs-are-people-too Valentines message. I'm just saying the dog is the one who's perceived as having less power in this relationship, and we can tell a lot about your Love ethic by the way you treat those who cannot demand of you. They can only ask. Sure you love those who can do something for you, those you perceive as having power over you. But do your children and your dog agree that you are a loving person?
'Cause I'll take their word for it.
Janelle, thanks for letting me hold the baby.
Happy Valentine's Day, Beautiful...
Go Love your family, Strender
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