329---Red-Room Community

Just about to leave for the studio yesterday when Tanja stopped by the office. We got into conversation, catching up on each others' lives. I haven't had a sit-down with her in a couple months. Spontaneous as ever, she accepted a last-minute invite to the studio and became a member of the red-room community. So many wonderful memories over the past 6 months in Dave's little red control room at MelroseMusic. In that space I've watched skilled craftsmen shaping my songs beyond the simple form I first received.

Looking around the room yesterday, I was touched at the beauty and power of my community. David Williams is such a competent engineer. Easy-going, a step ahead, super efficient. In the middle of the session a hard drive crashed. He didn't even skip a beat, pulled another drive online and was ready for the next take inside of 40 seconds. It makes me feel very safe to have an expert operator at the wheel.

I met Emir because of my Greek little sister Maria. Her album's almost finished and it's incredible. You gotta check it out. Emir did a lot of production work on that album and she's been telling me for months how good this guy is and what a brilliant musician/composer.

I think the simple beautiful string and piano arrangement he composed and conducted is nothing short of magical. Judge for yourself when this tune comes out in a couple months.

Which brings me back to about 6pm yesterday evening. Between 1 and 6pm, I had the experience of hearing this musical backdrop taking shape, all the while growing more and more aware of my own inability to match its caliber.

I come to the last hour with a deep sense of inadequacy. I'm not singer enough to contribute to something so perfect. But these words and this melody came through me and belong to someone else and I have a responsibility to deliver them.

The video camera's trained on me in the recording booth. I don't want people to see this. I start singing, thinking all the while, "ok, this is where they find out I'm an imposter. This is where somebody questions who let me in the room."

Sooner or later these guys are going to realize I'm just the delivery boy. I can't sing this as well as they played it. I should just find other people to sing these songs. I would be so honored to have other people sing my music. I hope that's going to happen. I didn't want to be a singer. I didn't want to be a guitarist either.

I just wanted to play the bass.

These words and melodies keep coming to me. Some of the words I sang yesterday:

Maybe this is where you want me

Maybe this is more than chance

Through a twisting road you brought me

To this turn of circumstance

What if destiny is calling me?

What if I must learn to fly?

If I never seize the moments in my life

Then I know I would always wonder why

And if hope is a risk that's worth the taking

And if faith is the vision of the soul

And if love is a promise that's worth making

If my life is not under my control

When my destiny comes calling me

When it comes my time to die

If I'd never seized the moments in my life

Then I know I would always wonder why

Cause eternity is calling me

Can I look you in the eye?

If I never seize the moments in my life

Then I know I would always wonder why

Yes I know I would always wonder why

And I know I don't want to wonder why

Pick A Chapter--Esther 4 (Len's pick)

Goodnight, Beautiful...

Goodnight, Strender